1 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,484 (male ♪1) 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,342 of Char Gar Gothakon"' 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,409 '"The Shrieking Madness 4 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:11,478 "The Beast That Hath No Name?" 5 00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:13,580 You're actually reading this? 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,215 The professor is a great writer. 7 00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:16,983 His stuff is spooky. 8 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,585 Hatecraft is a total fake. 9 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,285 - He says he's just - writing what demons 10 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:21,988 from dark dimensions tell him. 11 00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,256 Please! 12 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:24,868 - How do you know - they're not true? 13 00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:26,526 Um, because I have a brain? 14 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,070 - {\an8}Wait until - {\an8}Harlan Ellison speaks here 15 00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,496 {\an8}next week. He's a real writer. 16 00:00:29,562 --> 00:00:30,807 {\an8}He'll set you bozos 17 00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,098 {\an8}straight about Hatecraft. 18 00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:33,600 Later. 19 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,834 [eerie music] 20 00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:36,246 - (male ♪1) - '"Char Gar Gothakon' 21 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,771 '"The Beast That Hath No Name."' 22 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,515 - How can Professor Hatecraft - name the creature 23 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,101 in the title then say 24 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,709 it has no name. Ridiculous. 25 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:43,676 whoosh 26 00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:45,612 [indistinct chanting] 27 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,014 Oh! What is that smell? 28 00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,083 [indistinct chanting] 29 00:00:52,685 --> 00:00:54,054 sniff sniff 30 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,455 [gasps] 31 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,290 screech 32 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,125 crash 33 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:00,260 whoosh 34 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,095 crash 35 00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,296 Oh! Please! Stop! 36 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,798 screech 37 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,299 [screams] 38 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,300 thud 39 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,968 [music continues] 40 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,305 Please. Please! 41 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,217 - [screams] - No! 42 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,710 vroom 43 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:19,746 [theme music] 44 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,072 Scooby-Dooby-Doo! 45 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,809 tweet tweet 46 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,014 vroom 47 00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:59,853 {\an8}Now, Daph, chin up. 48 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,281 {\an8}Spending some time away 49 00:02:01,305 --> 00:02:02,655 {\an8}from your little mystery club 50 00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,190 {\an8}will do you some good. 51 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,526 {\an8}Stop by the building we paid for 52 00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,094 {\an8}and if you see any professors 53 00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,596 {\an8}remind them your sisters 54 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:11,608 - {\an8}all graduated - {\an8}from Darrow University 55 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,967 {\an8}by the time they were 13. 56 00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:15,245 {\an8}I'm only visiting this school 57 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,503 {\an8}because you want me to, mom. 58 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:17,971 {\an8}What if Darrow isn't for me? 59 00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,099 {\an8}A college good enough 60 00:02:19,123 --> 00:02:20,206 {\an8}for the other Blake girls 61 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,941 {\an8}isn't good enough for you? 62 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,053 {\an8}[laughing] 63 00:02:23,077 --> 00:02:24,144 {\an8}Oh, Daphne. 64 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,238 Sometimes I wish 65 00:02:25,262 --> 00:02:26,312 we would have had a boy. 66 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,376 Fred, go straight 67 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,517 to my old fraternity 68 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,718 and drop my name. 69 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,052 They have to let you in. 70 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,248 No matter how much 71 00:02:34,272 --> 00:02:35,388 you talk about traps. 72 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,867 Man, it feels weird 73 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,291 being here without the gang. 74 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,502 - Things sure have been - pretty rough 75 00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:41,127 since Shaggy and Velma broke up. 76 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,062 By Grabthar's hammer, Fred! 77 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,425 the Rogers' kid chose 78 00:02:44,449 --> 00:02:45,732 a dog over a girl. 79 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,094 What's he thinking? 80 00:02:47,118 --> 00:02:48,401 This isn't some reality show. 81 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,063 Now, I've dreamed of the day 82 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,671 you'd be humiliated 83 00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,600 by my fraternity. 84 00:02:53,624 --> 00:02:55,508 Don't blow this for me. 85 00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:56,970 I can't believe I'm here the 86 00:02:56,994 --> 00:02:58,411 same day as my favorite author. 87 00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,671 {\an8}'Do you think Harlan Ellison' 88 00:02:59,712 --> 00:03:00,757 {\an8}'will sign all my copies 89 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:01,848 {\an8}of his books?' 90 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,583 I knew Harlan back in the day. 91 00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:04,945 Just tell him 92 00:03:04,969 --> 00:03:06,252 Cape Cod Dinkley sent you. 93 00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,797 - [giggles] - He'll sign. 94 00:03:09,722 --> 00:03:11,184 But, like, the best thing 95 00:03:11,208 --> 00:03:12,692 about Darrow University 96 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:14,861 is the burger place on campus. 97 00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:15,906 They're known everywhere 98 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:16,930 for their burgers. 99 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,525 And the French fries, 100 00:03:18,549 --> 00:03:20,066 onion rings, and shakes. 101 00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,034 slurp 102 00:03:21,100 --> 00:03:23,102 Try not to embarrass us, please. 103 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,748 Better yet, just don't 104 00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,339 tell them your last name. 105 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,510 vroom 106 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,579 [instrumental music] 107 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:37,717 vroom 108 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:38,885 screech 109 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,887 vroom 110 00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,934 [instrumental music] 111 00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,571 [sighs] 112 00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,942 knock knock 113 00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:04,077 Mu Gamma Tau. 114 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,022 - Mu are you? - Um, hi. 115 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,380 I'm Fred Jones Jr. 116 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,992 My dad was a Mu Gamma 117 00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,583 Toe-uh, Tau-uh, Toe. 118 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:12,719 Fred! I'm Rhino. 119 00:04:12,785 --> 00:04:14,721 [music continues] 120 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,957 Guys, this is Fred Jones Jr. 121 00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:19,202 His dad was Mu Legend, 122 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,393 Fred Jones. 123 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,371 - (all) - What! 124 00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,329 I thought Fred Jones was a myth. 125 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,832 I heard he ate a live bear. 126 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:26,994 So, uh, 127 00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:28,101 what do you guys do here? 128 00:04:28,167 --> 00:04:30,236 Study? Party? Make traps? 129 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:31,337 Amateur hour. 130 00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:32,516 When you're in college, 131 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,640 male, and ripped 132 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,908 there's only one thing to do. 133 00:04:35,975 --> 00:04:37,343 Wrestle! 134 00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,511 [grunting] 135 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,390 - Go get him, Randy! - Yeah! 136 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,514 [crash] 137 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:46,019 [instrumental music] 138 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,382 (Daphne) 139 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:50,690 For Self-Named Buildings."' 140 00:04:48,406 --> 00:04:50,790 '"The Blake Family Center 141 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,924 Hmm. 142 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,375 No longer will they 143 00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,832 ignore your people! 144 00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,334 Are you with me? 145 00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,013 - (all) - Fight! Fight! Fight! 146 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,871 Are you with me? 147 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,205 Uh... yes? 148 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,951 (all) 149 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:09,642 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 150 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:10,977 What are we fighting? 151 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:12,111 [instrumental music] 152 00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,546 [panting] 153 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:15,348 Right there it is, Scoob! 154 00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,350 I can already taste the legends. 155 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,320 Burgers, fries, onion rings! 156 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,991 Wow! We're really here. 157 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,154 Ahem. Uh, bring us, like, 158 00:05:27,178 --> 00:05:29,295 your most famous food, please. 159 00:05:29,362 --> 00:05:30,640 It's the way 160 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,964 I always dreamed it. 161 00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,166 sniff sniff 162 00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:34,611 It's the way 163 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,035 I've always smelled it. 164 00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:37,135 [sighs] 165 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,641 chomp chomp 166 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,513 [groaning] 167 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:49,148 These aren't burgers. 168 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:50,917 We changed management last week. 169 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,585 Now we're organic vegan. 170 00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:53,813 Those are pureed sprouts 171 00:05:53,837 --> 00:05:54,987 and wheat gluten. 172 00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,836 - (both) - Yuck! 173 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,906 (Harlan) 174 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:04,330 there hasn't been anything' 175 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,397 'And that's why 176 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,866 'good written since the 1970s.' 177 00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,168 [cheering] 178 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:15,007 Thank you. Okay, questions. 179 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,609 My name is Howard. E. Roberts 180 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:17,754 and my favorite writer 181 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:18,845 is one of our professors 182 00:06:18,911 --> 00:06:21,091 - and I was wondering - if you could compare your work 183 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,448 to his masterpiece 184 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,560 "The Shrieking Madness 185 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:24,617 Of Char Gar Gotha..." 186 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,919 You mean H. P. Hatecraft? 187 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:28,465 An interesting scribbler, 188 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,956 yes, no doubt. 189 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,190 But minor. 190 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:32,502 - And that's being kind. 191 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,793 - That's not true. 192 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,537 - He-he's a brilliant writer - who understands 193 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:36,573 the dark creatures 194 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,630 of other dimensions. 195 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,233 I perceive in you, young sir 196 00:06:40,299 --> 00:06:42,135 one who hears nothing 197 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,436 but the sound of the wind 198 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:45,271 blowing across the empty desert 199 00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,039 that lies between your ears. 200 00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:48,808 [all laughing] 201 00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,245 Hatecraft is, at best 202 00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,747 a literary fraud, a con man. 203 00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:56,960 At worst, a dirt smear 204 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,152 in the diaper of literature. 205 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,220 [all laughing] 206 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:03,589 [groaning] 207 00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,474 - Mr. Ellison? - Yes, yeah.. 208 00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,526 - I-I can only sign so fast. 209 00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,501 - Velma Dinkley, sir. 210 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:16,846 I'm a huge fan of your work 211 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,150 and the themes you explore in... 212 00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,433 Dinkley? Not by any happy chance 213 00:07:20,457 --> 00:07:22,675 a relation to Cape Cod Dinkley? 214 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,487 - An old friend of mine? - My mother. 215 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,512 Oh, Holy Bradbury. 216 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:28,614 You must give her a kiss for me. 217 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,393 - And thank her - for the chicken soup. 218 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,951 Jinkies! I will! 219 00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:32,996 It was great meeting you. 220 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,020 Thanks so much. 221 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,500 My pleasure. Oh, by the way, 222 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:38,925 jinkies is not actually a word. 223 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,428 [eerie music] 224 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,702 Hatecraft this, Hatecraft that... 225 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:51,204 Perhaps someone could ask me 226 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,672 about my own latest work 227 00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,040 once in a while. 228 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,374 swish 229 00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:59,378 screech 230 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,847 [grunting] 231 00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:01,981 [intense music] 232 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,857 [cheering] 233 00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,869 - Sounds like - someone's in trouble. 234 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,838 - 'Help!' - 'Huh?' 235 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,656 (Harlan) 236 00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:18,397 help me, already! Help!' 237 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,498 'Help! Somebody please 238 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,799 [intense music] 239 00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:21,834 [screaming] 240 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,170 Zoinks! 241 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,538 I've changed my mind! 242 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,406 Maybe that food's is not so bad! 243 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,574 Oh! 244 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:29,809 [groaning] 245 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,811 screech 246 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,561 - Ow.. - 'Mr. Ellison, are you okay?' 247 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:39,819 Okay? 248 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,088 I've been violated by a figment 249 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,283 of a fantasist's 250 00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:44,423 fabricated falsehood 251 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,602 for the sole function 252 00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,726 of fame and fortune. 253 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:48,688 Oh, like, 254 00:08:48,712 --> 00:08:50,596 that is a lot of fa-fa-fuss. 255 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,764 Really? 256 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,399 Is it like that? 257 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:54,678 What if, like, 258 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:55,902 like, were used in 259 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,531 like, its proper grammatical 260 00:08:57,555 --> 00:08:59,105 form and not, like 261 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,384 as a conversational pause, 262 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,609 like, every third, like, word? 263 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,511 Boy, what got him so upset? 264 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,723 Maybe he wouldn't 265 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:07,914 be so mad if he saw this. 266 00:09:08,014 --> 00:09:09,615 A copy of Hatecraft's book. 267 00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:11,294 "Char Gar Gothakon, 268 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,919 The Beast That Hath No Name." 269 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,453 {\an8}Someone's read this a lot. 270 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,399 - {\an8}There's all kinds - {\an8}of sentences underlined. 271 00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,857 {\an8}sniff 272 00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:19,669 - {\an8}And it smells - {\an8}like old clam chowder 273 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,427 {\an8}being gargled by a seal. 274 00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,273 - But why would a monster - carry a book 275 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,964 about himself around with him? 276 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,526 I want to meet this 277 00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:28,034 Professor Hatecraft for myself. 278 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,104 [dramatic music] 279 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:42,081 knock knock 280 00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:43,960 - (Fred) - 'Professor Hatecraft?' 281 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,152 'Professor Hatecraft?' 282 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,453 Hello? 283 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:48,955 Professor Hatecraft? 284 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,823 Your door was open. 285 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,815 - With all these books, - you'd think this guy 286 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:09,308 could, like, afford a maid. 287 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,344 [screaming] 288 00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:15,348 thud 289 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,249 rumble rumble 290 00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,251 It's just a statue, beef brains. 291 00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:20,947 Of a character from another 292 00:10:20,971 --> 00:10:22,622 one of Hatecraft's books. 293 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,657 [eerie music] 294 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,813 - (woman on TV) - 'Breaking news. This just in.' 295 00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,576 - 'Campus police say - they have no leads' 296 00:10:38,604 --> 00:10:40,650 - 'on today's theft - of the Darrow family archives' 297 00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,208 'from the university library.' 298 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,620 - (Fred) - 'Professor Hatecraft?' 299 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,278 Ooh, by the tendrils 300 00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:47,423 of Shap-Shap Sumagurath, 301 00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,547 you frightened me. 302 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,644 We're sorry, professor. We're 303 00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:52,685 big fans who wanted to meet you. 304 00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,453 Well, now's not a good time. 305 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:55,815 It's like the wrath 306 00:10:55,839 --> 00:10:57,156 of Fung Fard Hargenflog 307 00:10:57,223 --> 00:10:58,624 has descended upon me. 308 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,637 I hope I haven't unleashed 309 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,628 Char Gar Gothakon on the world. 310 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:03,896 What do you mean? 311 00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,809 My work translating 312 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,667 the demon-summoning chants 313 00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:09,835 written in these evil tomes 314 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:11,080 which my student assistant 315 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,304 alphabetizes for me. 316 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:13,349 You think, like, 317 00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,373 everything you're writing 318 00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:15,808 is actually happening? 319 00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,287 Dark forces are at work 320 00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:18,744 in this very home! 321 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,106 and I fear I may have 322 00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:21,414 inadvertently opened a portal 323 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,215 to an alternate dimension. 324 00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:24,410 - That's bad, right? 325 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,551 - Stop! 326 00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:26,679 You might accidentally 327 00:11:26,703 --> 00:11:27,753 unleash another demon. 328 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,265 Oh. That's just fan mail. 329 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,723 Never mind. 330 00:11:30,823 --> 00:11:32,085 A lot of these seem to be 331 00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:33,392 in the same handwriting. 332 00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:34,994 My fans are very dedicated. 333 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,563 Now, if you will excuse me 334 00:11:37,663 --> 00:11:40,433 I-I s-sense m-messages 335 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,935 from another universe coming on. 336 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:47,406 Well, what do you say, gang? 337 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:48,935 Do we stay together and keep 338 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,409 working to solve this mystery? 339 00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,245 [instrumental music] 340 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:03,289 Is that a no? 341 00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:12,631 splatt splatt 342 00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:19,015 What are you doing here? 343 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,439 This place is vegan. 344 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,018 There's nowhere else to eat 345 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,542 for, like, miles. 346 00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:25,772 Yeah. We're so hungry, 347 00:12:25,796 --> 00:12:27,980 we'd even eat vegetables. 348 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,249 Whoa! 349 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,845 [panting] 350 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,419 were, uh, wrestling. 351 00:12:31,869 --> 00:12:33,486 Sorry. My friends 352 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,988 [grunting] 353 00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,823 [crash] 354 00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:38,901 My new brothers 355 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:39,925 are gonna teach me a move 356 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,327 called Happy Tapioca. 357 00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,655 I don't know what it is, 358 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,929 but apparently, uh 359 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,341 I'll be blindfolded 360 00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:46,732 and submerged into pudding. 361 00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,234 See ya around. 362 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,213 - [laughing] - Yeah! 363 00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:51,713 - I can't wait - to get you out of here. 364 00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,305 Hey, good job. 365 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,577 [instrumental music] 366 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,480 Ahem. 367 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,290 sniff sniff 368 00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:12,919 You said it, Scoob. 369 00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:14,527 And pass the salt. 370 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,195 screech 371 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,764 boom 372 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,377 (both) 373 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,835 Char Gar Gothakon! 374 00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:24,036 roar 375 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,504 Like, run! 376 00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,206 swish swish 377 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,474 [screams] 378 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:29,842 roar 379 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,311 crash 380 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,922 - Just because - I'm letting you save me 381 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,114 doesn't mean I forgive you! 382 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:36,476 (all) 383 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,817 Tapioca! Tapioca! 384 00:13:37,883 --> 00:13:39,285 So, what construct of the man 385 00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:41,031 - are we going - to go after next, Ernesto? 386 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,655 Don't worry, Comrade Daphne. 387 00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:43,783 Our true calling 388 00:13:43,807 --> 00:13:44,890 will present itself soon. 389 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:46,469 In the meantime, pick something 390 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:47,993 from the list of protestables. 391 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,228 It's fun. 392 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,040 Rice crackers, Shawarma, 393 00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:52,798 old person smell? 394 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:55,044 - Can you even protest that? - I don't know. 395 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,902 But someone should! 396 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,572 [screaming] 397 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,575 [chanting] 398 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,903 Professor Hatecraft, 399 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,177 you have to run! 400 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:06,256 Char Gar Gothakon 401 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,313 is at the campus burger! 402 00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:08,708 - Wait. Were you spying on us? 403 00:14:08,732 --> 00:14:10,082 - Yes. 404 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,993 - I wanted to see - if you were telling the truth. 405 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,679 And by the talons 406 00:14:13,703 --> 00:14:15,387 of Feng Shui Nabiscus. You were! 407 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:16,883 I have no choice now 408 00:14:16,907 --> 00:14:18,324 but to reveal the terrible 409 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,669 dark truth 410 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:20,993 about Char Gar Gothakon. 411 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,261 [all gasp] 412 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,096 splatt splatt 413 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,643 I know you've heard the rumors 414 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:29,978 - of a sighting - on campus last night 415 00:14:30,002 --> 00:14:30,997 of a monster 416 00:14:31,021 --> 00:14:32,037 from one of my novels. 417 00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,116 But I want to set 418 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,173 the record straight. 419 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,902 My writings, as Mr. Ellison 420 00:14:35,926 --> 00:14:37,610 said the other day 421 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,211 are a fraud. 422 00:14:39,278 --> 00:14:42,114 There is no Char Gar Gothakon. 423 00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:43,810 - I made the whole thing up! 424 00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,451 - It can't be true! 425 00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,313 Who is forcing you to lie 426 00:14:47,337 --> 00:14:49,121 like this, Professor Hatecraft? 427 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,100 - This is not a lie. - I am telling the truth. 428 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:52,702 I perpetuated the myth 429 00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:54,226 to sell books.. 430 00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:55,421 and to gain access 431 00:14:55,445 --> 00:14:56,595 to the lucrative world 432 00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:57,857 of plushy monster toys. 433 00:14:57,881 --> 00:14:59,064 I am so sorry. 434 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,660 Ignore him! We are the ones 435 00:15:00,684 --> 00:15:02,234 telling the truth! 436 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,069 Monsters deserve equality. 437 00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,498 Char Gar Gothakon 438 00:15:05,522 --> 00:15:06,906 should not be silenced. 439 00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:08,918 - And here's a song - to tell you why. 440 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,809 ♪ Char Gar Gothakon ♪ 441 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,479 ♪ The Beast That Hath No Name ♪ 442 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,781 ♪ He's an old one ♪ 443 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:18,484 ♪ Maybe live beneath the sea ♪ 444 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,762 ♪ He rocks 445 00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:20,986 a thousand eyeballs.. ♪ 446 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,221 Like, now what do we do? 447 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:23,283 No one's listening 448 00:15:23,307 --> 00:15:24,323 to a word we say. 449 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,401 There's only one thing 450 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:26,425 we can do. 451 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,394 Build a trap! 452 00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:30,996 And I can't do it alone. 453 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,408 ♪ May he live 454 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,766 beneath the sea.. ♪♪ 455 00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:34,934 roar 456 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:35,978 - What's going on? 457 00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,002 - Oh! 458 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:38,837 [dramatic music] 459 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:39,772 [growling] 460 00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:41,240 Uh, I think we made our point. 461 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,441 The protest is over! 462 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:43,642 [screams] 463 00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:45,644 roar 464 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,146 crash 465 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:48,347 So what do you say, gang? 466 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,509 Are we gonna solve 467 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:50,616 this mystery or not? 468 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:51,684 [chanting] 469 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,752 [screams] 470 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,258 screech 471 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:00,303 (H.P. Hatecraft) 472 00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:01,327 'Somebody save me!' 473 00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:03,262 splatt splatt 474 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,200 [dramatic music] 475 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,269 splatt splatt 476 00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,671 - Professor Hatecraft? 477 00:16:18,695 --> 00:16:21,280 - 'Ooh! Help!' 478 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:22,881 splatt splatt 479 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,077 We'll never find him 480 00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:25,217 if we don't split up. 481 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,646 Okay. I guess 482 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,020 that means we go.. Huh? 483 00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:32,191 Oh, come on. 484 00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:33,325 splatt splatt 485 00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:34,487 Wow! I can't wait 486 00:16:34,511 --> 00:16:35,627 to be an adult. 487 00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:37,174 - You get to have - so much cool stuff 488 00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:38,324 that has that awesome 489 00:16:38,348 --> 00:16:39,398 old person smell. 490 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,277 - Here. You might - need this for the trap. 491 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:42,801 Great find, Daph. 492 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,980 - Hey, you know, we make - a pretty good team, don't we? 493 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,166 Uh-huh. It's like we know 494 00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:47,373 each other's thoughts. 495 00:16:47,473 --> 00:16:48,885 Yeah! Hey, 496 00:16:48,909 --> 00:16:50,342 guess what I'm thinking now. 497 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,711 Well, are you thinking about me? 498 00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:54,390 Ha! Gotcha! 499 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,015 I'm not thinking about anything. 500 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,150 My mind is a complete void. 501 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,085 Good try, though. 502 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,320 Thanks. 503 00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:08,560 splatt splatt 504 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,907 I thought Shaggy 505 00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:11,997 was right behind us. 506 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,810 - Huh? You worried? 507 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:15,601 - Oh, who am I kidding? 508 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,069 It's like he's a part of me. 509 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,397 Even though 510 00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:19,671 he left me for... you. 511 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,674 I'm sorry. 512 00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:25,721 (Shaggy) 513 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,279 'Scooby! Velma! Help!' 514 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,048 It's Shaggy! 515 00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,583 [intense music] 516 00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,852 [whimpering] 517 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:34,914 Something jumped off 518 00:17:34,938 --> 00:17:35,954 the shelf at me 519 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,090 and had, like, a tentacle. 520 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:41,960 It's not a tentacle. 521 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,056 It's a strap 522 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,096 for someone's book bag. 523 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,866 They look like stories. 524 00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,134 Listen to this title. 525 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,496 "The Dreaded Beast 526 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,804 Goo-Goo Gaga." 527 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,282 - [sniffs] - Ew! Yuck! 528 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,140 They've got that same smell. 529 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,285 It's like a baboon 530 00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,376 smoking a cigar 531 00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,121 - while bathing - in a bath of moldy tuna 532 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,646 and curdled ranch dressing. 533 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,908 (male ♪1) 534 00:18:01,932 --> 00:18:03,115 'Hey! Let me out!' 535 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,550 [dramatic music] 536 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,585 [grunting] 537 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,054 thud 538 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:11,156 [screams] 539 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,491 Thank goodness! 540 00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,870 - Trapped inside with - all of Hatecraft's lousy books 541 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,339 it's like being in his version 542 00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:17,763 of the underworld. 543 00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:18,964 Who put you in here? 544 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,304 The guy with all the tentacles. 545 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:21,467 What's his name? 546 00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:22,679 (H.P. Hatecraft) 547 00:18:22,703 --> 00:18:23,836 'Char Gar Gothakon!' 548 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,004 'Stay away, you demon!' 549 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,406 The professor! 550 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:30,175 [chanting] 551 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,177 splatt splatt 552 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,179 screech 553 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:39,351 'Help! Help! Help me!' 554 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,846 [shouting] 555 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,287 Help! 556 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:44,356 splatt splatt 557 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,736 - 'Help!' - We've got to distract it. 558 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,155 Hatecraft 's monsters 559 00:18:49,179 --> 00:18:50,529 are only summoned by chanting. 560 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,131 Follow me. 561 00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,032 [chanting] 562 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,395 [screaming] 563 00:18:55,419 --> 00:18:56,702 Whoa! 564 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,847 (all) 565 00:18:57,871 --> 00:18:58,937 Char Gar Gothakon... 566 00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:01,273 [chanting] 567 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,120 - (all) - Char Gar Gothakon... 568 00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:06,879 Don't chant at it, hit it! 569 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,280 roar 570 00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,347 screech 571 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:12,284 Oh! 572 00:19:12,351 --> 00:19:14,319 [screaming] 573 00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,457 Help! 574 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,894 [screams] 575 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,795 [whimpering] 576 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,298 [music continues] 577 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:27,760 Like, you don't hear many 578 00:19:27,784 --> 00:19:29,201 monsters from other dimensions 579 00:19:29,301 --> 00:19:31,403 scream for help. 580 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:32,571 hiss 581 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,072 This is no monster. 582 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,541 It's Howard E. Roberts! 583 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:37,120 'Hatecraft's student assistant 584 00:19:37,144 --> 00:19:38,644 and biggest fan.' 585 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,179 'Just as I suspected.' 586 00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:41,474 - Suspected how? 587 00:19:41,498 --> 00:19:42,748 - Think about it. 588 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,527 - We found a book - written by Hatecraft 589 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,345 'with sentences underlined that 590 00:19:46,369 --> 00:19:48,086 smelled like Char Gar Gothakon.' 591 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,265 Of course, it was me, 592 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,389 someone had to defend 593 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:52,067 - the professor - against his critics. 594 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,586 And what better way than to 595 00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,027 dress as his greatest creation? 596 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,388 Fortunately, I'd taken a class 597 00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:57,729 in the military application 598 00:19:57,829 --> 00:19:58,991 of sonic shriek technology 599 00:19:59,015 --> 00:20:00,199 at the learning annex. 600 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:01,733 Although, in retrospect 601 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,311 - it might not have been - a good idea 602 00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:04,563 to glue real octopus legs 603 00:20:04,587 --> 00:20:05,837 to my face. 604 00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,199 (all) 605 00:20:07,223 --> 00:20:08,540 Ah, so that was the smell! 606 00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:09,735 But when Hatecraft 607 00:20:09,759 --> 00:20:10,909 admitted he made it up? 608 00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,611 That's when he had to fall. 609 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:13,839 And he would have, too, 610 00:20:13,863 --> 00:20:15,013 if it weren't for the dark 611 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,576 elder forces conspiring in the 612 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,118 inky black of time most foul! 613 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,854 Oh. And you meddling kids. 614 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,127 [siren blaring] 615 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,597 - H. P, are you all right? 616 00:20:31,697 --> 00:20:32,931 Harlan. Yes. 617 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:34,093 Just an overeager fan 618 00:20:34,117 --> 00:20:35,200 who got carried away. 619 00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:37,330 Fans. Imbeciles fit only 620 00:20:37,354 --> 00:20:39,438 to be gnawed by rabid rats. 621 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:43,141 Yes. Someone could write a book. 622 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,645 How about, "A Boy And His Fans 623 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,090 "By Harlan Ellison 624 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,481 And H. P. Hatecraft?" 625 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:50,626 I was thinking something 626 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,717 more along the lines of 627 00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,885 "Shavu-ra hatafar. 628 00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:56,622 "The Fan That Hath No Name." 629 00:20:56,722 --> 00:20:59,424 Except, uh, you just named it. 630 00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:03,495 Don't start with me, Ellison. 631 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:05,024 You know, I'm glad we don't have 632 00:21:05,048 --> 00:21:06,498 to go to college just yet. 633 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,333 Yeah, it'll be good to get home. 634 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,269 And back to solving mysteries. 635 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:11,737 As a team? 636 00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:13,098 Absolutely. 637 00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:14,439 The way it should be. 638 00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:16,218 - [all gasp] - Huh? 639 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,387 (Daphne) 640 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:20,512 Darrow family archives?' 641 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,612 'Darrow University library 642 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,258 Wait. Aren't those the archives 643 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:23,949 the news said were stolen? 644 00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:26,118 [dramatic music] 645 00:21:26,184 --> 00:21:29,187 Mr. E! Huh. Open it. 646 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:31,256 Ooh. Carefully. 647 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,604 If the first Mystery Inc. 648 00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:36,128 had what's inside this trunk 649 00:21:36,194 --> 00:21:37,473 maybe they never would have 650 00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:38,797 vanished in the first place. 651 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:41,632 Wow! 652 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,814 'This looks like the entire 653 00:21:44,838 --> 00:21:46,538 history of Crystal Cove.' 654 00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,150 Gang, I think one mystery 655 00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:49,708 just turned into two. 656 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:51,677 Hmm. 657 00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,715 [theme music]